Clashes...

*Sigh* Sometimes I wonder... Am I a bad soul? Do I fit in? Do I KNOW how to fit in? Or even, do I deserve this? *Sigh* Then I ponder at my place of SOLITUDE... My bed... That is the only place I can truly say I feel relaxed... And as I close my eyes... I think... Do I want my 2nd year life to become a misery that I will look back from my life, over and over...AND REGRETING IT! HAH! I don't want my St. Rose family to be a burden... Actually, I am anticipating a lot from them... But not all of them I despise... Only a few... And I am sure they know that...

*Sigh* I give myself some time to think on what to do... I really didn't enjoy our Christmas party much... It was as boring for me as it could get. I just on a plastic smile... I at least tried to like it a bit... My classmates probably didn't notice... Har har! I don't know why I even bother thinking about them... I may seem like an outcast... And I guess I am... Ha ha! I have more friends in other sections than in my own. And I have friends from other years that are more friendlier to me than they are. Har har!

It's almost the end of 2004... So about 3 months of 2005 is all the time I have with THEM... Har har! And I've really been stressing about my grades! I AM SO NERVOUS! I don't know... *sigh* I've really been OUT of school this 3rd quarter! But wait! I've never been absent... I've never been late or anything... NOt in my school life that I remember... I've just been excused lately. Contests here and there. And all those contests gave way for opportunities to come to me... Ha ha! I've been SO different than what I was last year. Last year I was that "Timid, friendly, and shy" type. Now, I'm that "Friendly, outspoken, and active" kind. Har har! I may have not changed much... But hey, I HAVE changed.

To my friends, they might not have noticed. But to some of my classmates before and now... Ha ha! They might notice that. But hey, who can really tell. I know myself better than anyone else does...